Christa Black

“Tell your daughter, whatever she’s been going through.  God says to tell her that He gives her an A+.”

feature_report-card-1396391963When a stranger who doesn’t know you, or know that you’ve been wading through the grief that comes with the death of your daughter, gives your parents a message to pass on to you like this one, you hold onto each word for dear life.
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Friends.  I’m just so excited I just might tinkle my pants.

Screen Shot 2014-08-22 at 2.21.38 PMOk, so maybe that’s gross and I won’t do that, but I’m so excited I could just spit!  Ok, wait….that’s from Parent Trap and still nasty.  Let’s just say, I’M SLIGHTLY EXCITED BECAUSE THE GOD LOVES UGLY & LOVE MAKES BEAUTIFUL STUDY GUIDE IS FINALLY FINISHED!!!
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A couple of years ago right before walking out of my chiropractor’s office, I turned around to ask him one last question before leaving.

Screen Shot 2014-08-17 at 11.18.53 PM“Does cell phone radiation effect our bodies?”  My question wasn’t asked for any particular reason, except simple curiosity after hearing a few rumors.
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I looked down at my little Goldie’s birth and death certificate, running my finger over her beautiful name—Luca Gold Gifford.

 

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And all I wanted was to be Luca Gold Gifford’s mommy in front of the entire world.

I sat in my parents living room days after Luca died with my best friend Kelly, talking about this new, deep desire that began emerging the day she went to be with Jesus.
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The first time I read about the capitol of Panem in the popular ‘The Hunger Games’ trilogy, I found it all a bit absurd.

egypt_bloody_jesus_AFP

Rainbow colored hair, extravagant fashion, mass parties, and violent entertainment centered around watching children fight to the death to earn food for their districts.
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http://youtu.be/aCUbvOwwfWM

When you’ve lost a child and science doesn’t know exactly why, you begin to look at your health and your baby-factory-body and start asking some hard questions.

whos_to_blameSome studies say that the neuro tube defect called anencephaly that took my daughter Goldie from this earth might be caused by a lack of folic acid in the first trimester, and since I didn’t really take many prenatals in the first trimester while carrying her, you can imagine the compounding guilt that piled on my heart like hot coals right after she died.
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